No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
