yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
