Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
