you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
