Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
