I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
