also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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