lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize