I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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