Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
MIDGETS
????
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
