When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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