I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
