So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
