Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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