we have pet lesbian snakes
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
