He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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