I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
why is half of my head shaved?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
