After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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