just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize