I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
