This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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