Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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