After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
