Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
