Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
