There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
how drunk are you?
Several
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
