R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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