Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
did i just pee glitter
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize