I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
