if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He? As in you personified your dick?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize