My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
