wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
