Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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