doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
