I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
do herpes really smell.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
