yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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