there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
so let's talk penis.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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