stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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