I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize