thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
