And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
