Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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