My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
