I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
