And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
