After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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