True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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