you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Randomize
