I'm lost and stupid without you.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
