I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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