Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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