remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
