yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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