She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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