Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
