your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
