She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
