He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
