Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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