did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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