I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i would punch a child for taco bell
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
